why do i keep forgetting that "friends" are superficial beings
they say you're homies, they say you're tight
they say "i'm here for you, just talk to me"
but the truest test comes down to when they need you the most and you them

sadly, this is where they reveal themselves
this is where it gets too difficult for them
they don't deliver

yes, it hurts - it fucking hurts
but i now understand
you don't want to add more shit to your already complicated, fulfilled life
that is fine

it just strengthens my belief - it is every man for himself
i just need to remind myself of this daily
because i still forget, and i still hold out for a glimpse of this so-called friendship
but no more.
when push-comes-to-shove, it is every man for himself



so maybe one day i'll learn to love myself
and maybe one day i'll finally stop crying