i cant believe i set up this damn thing almost a year ago...and im only writing in it today...
gosh, i dunno wht possessed me to finally write in this.
i dunno, i guess a lot has happened in 2007 that if i dont document it somewhere, i might juz go bonkers and forget! i really done wanna forget this yr - it truly has been a journey...
and i think ageing another yr kinda got me to finally get of my big fat ass and now write something.
so yeah, last friday, i aged another yr - i turned the ripe ol age of 22!!! haha.....not tht old to some, bt for someone who wants to stay a kid forever and ever, this is truly bloody scary!!!
well, being me, as usual, i didnt do anything...hehe...juz hung out with chun peng and darren for lunch and later went out for dinner with the whanau.
so today, WHY today u ask...well, i finally got my results!!! the results for my bloody 4th yr med finals....and its the miracle of all miracles!!!! i fucking passed it!!! ALHAMDULILLAH!!!...i truly, truly didnt expect it...i mean, i was hoping so fucking hard for it, bt didnt expect it...i feel like i dont deserve it - i mean, wht with the pathetic and crappy way i was preparing for it....bt yeah i guess this is a sign from GOD tht i have to fucking buck up! or forever be the failure tht i most likely am....
as much as i was/am jumping to the stars cos i can move on with my fantabulous class into 5th yr, something pathetic in me juz snapped and i felt like the ultimate failure!!! i mean, juz last friday we found out my brother is the best student in his finance class and gave a speech and "graduated" his ADP class magna cum laude!!!
dont get me wrong, im thrilled for him - he is a popular kid, liked adn respected by his peers - it juz made me feel like the disappointment, the inadequate one in the family....
my, my...how the tables have turned huh....=) bt wht is there for me to do huh? i guess i gotta finally realise tht this is no longer high school...life as an adult, as a responsible student has to begin...FUCK!!!!
bloody weird kan....oh well...wht to do...i honestly knw im being fucking silly, fucking pathetic, fucking ridiculous....bt yeah, my brain works in the weirdest ways....*sigh*....
i guess rite now, with this as "black-and-white" proof of my pathetic, childish mindset, i think oughta do something about it, dont u think.....yeah...definately...
all this, after my dinner date with my beloved cuz, alea....finally.....=)
