why am i never in tmn tun when i really need to be?

Celebrity Fight Night - March 2009

2 of the biggest names in sports....

drool......

the oh-so-yummy mike.....:)

musings of the head VS the heart...

i have come to realize something COMPLETELY retarded about myself...

i have in recent years become cynical about love and the likes, and have almost completely ruled out it ever happening to me...and then the "imu affair" happened - with a person i LEAST expected, at a point in time i least expected...as we knw, tht fizzled....

so now, i pretty much went back to square one - which is fine by me...

then i now realize tht i've got a bizzare frame of mind....the people i turn my thoughts/attention to are the ones i KNOW would never work - well, unless a snowstorm decides to freeze hell over....

i see that i have a pathological pattern in liking dudes who are WAAAY out of my league, they might as well be out of earth's gravitational pull! examples include various rockstars/celebrities/swimmers....and in this recent months, a surgical registrar...

i think i've also come to a point where i juz completely tune out "regular" dudes...and seeing as how im psycho-analyzing myself here, i think it's because it's juz easier liking dudes i KNOW i can never get....and that i know by liking these dudes with the background that i can never have them, it prevents the heartache and heartbreak tht's bound to happen with realistic relationships.....

so yeah, i think tht it's a wall i've built to not get hurt, to not feel the pain and to not get my hopes up...plus, i think i might juz be a tad bit of a commitment-phobe....

hmmm......i think this is what happens when i use my head to rationalize these things instead of using the heart....go figure...

this whole weaning-off business is mighty difficult to pull off!

i tried my darndest NOT to think about R...in fact, i didnt even ask nurul about him today...
she mentioned him once...
and when i went to meet her in apu, there he was...
R...all yummy in his scrubs....*sigh*....
it was good talking/joking with him....

but i gotta wean off R!!!!

fun fact - anderson cooper takes lipitor! :)

must.get.over.boy!

the master plan - so as to preserve my sanity:

to wean-off R!!!

• i was about to leave the hospital after work....
• went to see nurul, so we could go home together - bt she did say R wasnt there..shame!
• i went up to 76....as i was walking there, i saw a familiar figure....
• my insides did a flip-flop, a reflex smile crept up....lo-and-behold, it was R! ;)
• went in, saw nurul....saw R sitting by the comp again...
• said hi to him...we started chatting....
• he asked wht i was upto...
• i said i was heading home...said to him tht he ought to go home too....
• he said they were working hard, not like the TIs who could go home early...
• i knew he was joking...so i retorted -
  
• when i was working with him, i almost never went home early - he ought to know tht, seeing as how we walked home together a couple of times...
• he said he was juz getting dinner, and was planning on coming back to hosp after tht...haha...AS IF....;)
• we went on joking summore - me asking him how he's liking life with internet now...:)
• it was awesome!!! i was smiling and joking with him all the way - while miraculously trying to act cool at the same time...;)
• in the end, i left....we said bye, and he said to me "bye. don't work too hard."....

oh, the permanent smile etched on my face....:)

they're baaackkk.....;)

finally! after a much-much-much-too-long hiatus, BLINK182 is back!!!! :)

a new record is in the works! :)
plus, there's a tour - a national one only unfortunately....

i mean, i wish i could go for the concert!
supporting bands incl: FOB, weezer, PATD, AAR, TBS, Chester French
daymm.....i'm missing out on brilliance!!!!

more sightings!

about 3-4 sightings/encounters today....
1 of them was more than an acknowledging smile,
it was a "hi, how are u? whatcha up to?" encounter...;)

all while R was in scrubs!!! yumm...so delectable...;)

smiles, smiles....;)

wht a way to spend a day....;)

0745 -

• on the way to work, bumped into I...so we ended up walking together...;)

1045 -

• level 3 coffee place - saw the colorectal team there....amongst them - the oh-so-yummy R...;)
• he obviously didnt see me, bt hey! at least i got my dose of eye-candy!

1230 -

• saw R in the cafe having lunch with the other Regs and the cute boss Mr Collinson...
• daym, Mr C and R at one table....*drool, drool*...;)

1700 -

• found out from nurul tht R was in 76 for paper-round...
• turned out, they were done, and nurul got me to go up there - under the pretense of seeing her...
• R was there! at the computer beside nurul...so i got an eye-full! he was as usual...so yumm! :)
  
• then i said hi...hehe.....
• snippets of our "conversation"...not verbatim, bt close enough...:
  

R: so, you can't stay away from here eh?
me: yeah...i miss surgery!
[wht i wanted & should've said was "yeah...i miss my favourite reg!!"]

me: i miss surgery! i can't do medicine...takes too much brain, and i dont have enough brain!
R (with a smirk): so, u're saying that we dont have enough brain, tht's why we're doing this?
me: wht? noo...i didn't say tht..u assumed....;)
[what i wanted & should've said was "are u kidding?!? YOU are like the most medically-sound surgeon i've met! u are soo friggin smart!!!"]

and he was wearing tht pair of pants i like - the denim-looking one...nice....
and i saw his tie - it had the insigna of the Royal College of Surgeons...nice...

so yeah...SMILING ear-to-ear!!!! :)

Phelps returns to pool with two gold-medal performances (5/15/2009)

[taken from usaswimming.org]

Three-time Olympian Michael Phelps (Baltimore, Md.) returned to the pool for his first competition since the 2008 Olympics with a pair of gold-medal swims on the second day of the Charlotte UltraSwim Grand Prix.

The 14-time Olympic gold medalist proved to be in good form, as he swam a time of 1:46.02 in the men’s 200m free, which was faster than his preliminary time in the event in Beijing. Phelps’ former Club Wolverine teammates Peter Vanderkaay (Rochester, Mich.) and Davis Tarwater (Knoxville, Tenn.) finished close behind, with times of 1:46.71 and 1:47.35, respectively.

“I wanted to come back and do something respectable in the pool,” Phelps said. “The next few weeks are going to be really important in my training. It didn’t matter how I felt tonight, I was just excited to race. That’s what is important – that I still have that passion to race.”

Phelps came back two events later to win the 100m fly in a time of 51.72. Tyler McGill (Riverside, Calif.) finished a full second later with the runner-up time of 52.76, and Corney Swanepoe rounded out the podium in 53.22.

UPDATE: [taken from AP on yahoo]

CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) — Michael Phelps is not unbeatable.

Not when he's going against Aaron Peirsol.

The world-record holder and two-time Olympic champion handed Phelps his first defeat in nearly a year, winning the 200-meter backstroke at the Charlotte UltraSwim on Saturday night.

Wearing his new Arena suit, Peirsol got off to a strong start and touched in 53.32 seconds. Phelps was trailing by more than a half-second at the turn and had no chance to make that up against one of the greatest backstrokers, taking second in 53.79

LATEST UPDATE: [taken from www.telegram.com]

Phelps loses again at Charlotte UltraSwim
Two days, two losses for Michael Phelps. Phelps was beaten again at the Charlotte UltraSwim last night, losing to Frederick Bousquet of France in the 100-meter freestyle. The loss to Bousquet, world-record holder in the 50 free, came 24 hours after Phelps lost his first final in nearly a year. Aaron Peirsol beat him in the 200 backstroke.

http://sports.yahoo.com/top/news?slug=ap-phelpsreturns&prov=ap&type=lgns

Feeling This (live) FIRST SHOW BACK!!!!

they're baaaackkk!!!! =)

u gotta love a man in scrubs....;)

well, tht's wht i first saw R in today...:)
delish...yumm....;)

saw him in the cafe...too bad he was with the others...so i couldnt sit with him...:)
oh well, he saw me, i smiled & waved, and he reciprocated with a smile and wave....;)

yup....im definitely on the brink of insanity.....;)

so this is how it went down today....

0755....

• went down to apu to get today's list before handover...
• i knew tht colorectal was on acutes today....
• as i hoped, R was there....he was at the computer beside the photocopy machine i wanted to use....:)
• *drool*...esp with R in scrubs! :) hehe.....sungguh sangat lazat...=p
  
• we chatted a bit.....then unfortunately, i had to go for handover....but with a HAPPY grin etched on my face....;)

1600...

• one of our patients who has ??appendicitis had his CT abdo/pelvis....verbal report couldnt exclude appendicitis....
• he was already reviewed by the HNBE team....
• BUT, me, i volunteered to help my H/O by calling the OC GenSurg Reg to let him know abt our guy...while at the same time, i cmpltly aware tht he was sorta under the care of the HNBE team...;)
• so...i called the OCphone...knowing it would be R at the other end...hehe....
• got R on the phone...we talked abt the guy, and he redirected me to the HNBE reg (as expected).....hahahah....bt it was worth the 2 min chance of being able to hear him (and the funny way he pronounces my name...;)

so yes....as per usual, i walked home with the most retarded grin plastered on my face! (and this was in broad-daylight!)........;)

SNL - Justin Timberlake + Andy Samberg (Mother Lover)

the sequel to "Dick in a Box"....
sooo funny! i cant believe they susan sarandon to join in! :)

live long and prosper....

Star Trek....
most definitely worth watching...
especially with such memorable lines....:)
AND such delicious faces....;)

• chris pine - those blue eyes...to die for!!! :)

• zachary quinto.....hubba, hubba....

• eric bana......yummm.....:)

NOT.gonna.be.a.competent.doctor.

more smiles....;)

a few days ago -

• was in apu...looking up stuff on concerto....
• suddenly someone was like sorta stepping on my shoe....
• turned out it was R....juz playing around.....;).......*drool*......:)
  

yesterday -

• team post-take round.....grrr....sooo freaking long! i only got home at 6pm! on a sunday!
• but....saw R lots! :)
• he swapped his shift - tht's why he was working this w/end as opposed to last w/end with the actual team....
• poor man was all alone...
• he was there on sat also...too bad i decided to skip work on saturday...could've helped him out when he needed it.....
• oh well....most definately good to talk/laugh with R....;)
  

6:30pm -

• saw R down in apu....

6:45pm -

• R was seeing a pt....my brain was done for the day..time for home...too bad i dont see him...
• took a slow walk home - all the time looking behind me in hopes...
• otw home, contemplating if i oughta get groceries....
• finally, at the fork btwn home vs groceries.....took 1 last look behind...i thought i spotted R - i thought i recognised the gait of tht dude 20ft behind me....oh well....;)
• made up my mind - will get groceries....
• suddenly, someone was playing with my (L) earphone...
• it was R....;) good thing im grocery-shopping today.....
• got to walk with him for a bit.....

.....*SIGH*......

life is sweet as of now.....;)

reupdated list....

• anderson cooper
• chris pine
• mark hoppus
• travis barker
  
• tyson ritter
• nick wheeler
• ryan star
  
• collin farrell
• ryan reynpolds
• ryan gosling
• shannon leto
• jeremy piven
• toby rand
• rob pattinson
  
• michael phelps
• ian thorpe
• eamon sullivan
• ryan lochte
• adam levine
• freddie prinze jr
• zachary levi
• dave annable
• david cook
• adrian brody
• brandon boyd
• james franco
• adam brody
• al pacino (when he was younger)
• milo ventimiglia
• james mcavoy
• jonathan rhys-meyers
• travis barker
• jake gyllenhaal
• jordan knight