i wish i had a sharp, sterile blade of some sort....

a day in cardiology...

this morning during ward rounds i saw a 40-something-year-old dude who has an ejection fraction of 5%!!!! i mean, talk abt crazy!!! he must have seriously wasted his life and stuffed-up his heart to get it this bad, this early! gosh....

rants of a crazy mind...

ever since i learnt the term...ive been pretty convinced tht ive got BPAD II....or at least hypomania....im even more convinced now...

i've been down for the longest time ever! and then, for the past few days, i've been on a pretty high wave...hmm...adn now, i think i mite juz be going back down hill?

i juz heard a great, great news...about 2 great - the best even - friends...they got together! i think i've always suspected - even since our taylors/imu days - tht something would come out of it...cos they've always had this special bond btwn the 2 of them...i couldnt be happier! and i knw things would be awesome...CONGRATS my dears...

bt the fucking problem is...this brought up fucking thoughts which i DONT wanna have!!! FUCK!!
my sense of self-loathe has juz returned with a fucking vengence! god, i miss the days where it was the 4 of us...they were brilliant! my brothers and sister....now im stuck on this god-forsaken island-kampung, while my life juz crumbles to fucking pieces....

i think wht has also happened is tht, as much as i thnk im this pretty independent saggitarian, as much as i think i've done pretty well being single my whole life...i think i juz realised - or rather, im finally admitting - tht i think i do wanna feel all these things tht ppl talk abt...fuck! i thought i escaped all tht...

i think my mind is slipping...i think my motivation for life is slipping...im quite sure...no, i KNOW tht i HATE myself....i want those days back! days where i was happy in imu...days where i was happy with my best friends in tmntun....

Ian Thorpe interview on ROVE (live in studio) July 2008

my syg!!! hehe...

Eamon Sullivan - Wide World of Sports

first there was ian...
now there's eamon....:)

one of the things thts pretty high up there in my list of hot things is definately a dude who dotes on his baby/toddler/kid!

omg, cair giler sial!!! juz like the dad i saw at the immunology food-challenge clinic at starship this morning....*drool*......;) so yeah, a hot dad playing with his kid is definately uber-lazat! :)

TI elective 2009...

yay! juz got a letter from UM....my application to do my 1st quarter elective there nxt yr has been approved! :) and i got my 1st choice of 4wks medicine, 4wks emergency....:)

hehe....all i have to do now is to pass my bloody exam! dammit...tht the bloody big-ass bump on the road...hmm....pray for me? cos then, i'll be able to get my extended summer break back home in good-ol tmn tun! ;)

water babies...

question: who will be in the final line-up for the australian swim team for beijing?

question: who will make the final-cut for the american swim team?

question: should i take an interest in the kiwi swim team?

question: will ian thorpe be in beijing - out of the pool & as a supporter this time? (yes plz!)

question: will the speedo lzr racer steal the limelight?

question: how many records would be fallen this time?

question: will grant hackett hold on to his 1500m free for the 3rd olympic in a row? (i hope he does!)

question: will the RSA team be juz as brilliant & as big a surprise as they were before?

hair today...gone tmrw...:)

omg! i sooo totally had a girly-session like 30minutes ago! i sooo conformed!

atiqah, sal, moush and i were talking about hair-removal and the likes....and so, atiqah was really keen on shaping her brows...and moush suggested sal! so yeah, we had atiqah lying on the couch, and sal - ever the makeup-savvy girl tht she is - expertly plucked and cleaned it up and shaped it a bit....whoa...wht a diff juz a bit of grooming can do!

and so, they got ME on the couch...see, im NOT a fan of pain..and so i was so bloody wary abt the whole thing..bt i thought, wht the heck - it's free! and i can at least tick tht of my list of things to do before i die! :) so yeah...after awhile...its done! it was brilliant cos it didnt deviate much from my original bushy-squirrel's-tail brow..i mean, it's still thick, the way it always has been - except tht this time, there's much less strays and it juz looks heaps neater! (and off course, red!)

im impressed....big time!!...and it now begs the question - will i do this again?!?...only time will tell....;)

7pm-
after txting my mama abt it....this is wht i got - "wah! we sd be speechless! but gd 2 be groomed n u sd look less like the distant cousin of bigfoot!" - ....teruk rite! this coming from my mama! i mean, its not my fault...we've only got abah's genes to blame...:)

if u let the mind wander....

2.10pm-
im quite sure im losing my mind...
im quite sure im losing my sense of self...
i think i need some sorta anger-Mx help....maybe also some sorta psychological help?

3.45pm-
i juz found out - david cook really is into kimberly caldwell - things are looking well....
i suppose i oughta be happy for him?
bt tht certainly puts a damper on my imagination....:)