almost...

Almost got him out to town last night...

he seemed keen in the mane...

then when nobody heard nothing about any end-of-run plans...he didn't seem too keen no more..

i tried..but i wouldn't blame him....

i'd do the same if i were him...

so close...yet so far....

this week in retrospect....

Tuesday - scrubbed with Mr Martin (as previously blogged)...

Thursday -

• Mr Harman knows my name
• Mr Harman was praising me! - didnt have any issues!
• Mr Harman said he's give me a reference should I need it for SET applications!!!! :):)
• long day ecc....BUT GOT TO DO IT WITH RAMEZ!!!! :):):)

Friday -

• decent pawr.....
• got out of my long day!!!!! :):):)
• dinner at peter's
• out to ponsonby after with the blondes and ramez and vincent...
• WENT NEXT DOOR WITH RAMEZ TO DANCE!!! - they were playing an awesome mix of old-school hiphop/r&b!!!
• sadly, we werent dancing with each other.....but he was sooo delish! :):)
• we didnt hug goodbye though....=( why didn't i do that!!!!! i'll forever regret that moment...:(

gonna miss the boys....='(

maybe it's good.....i may now be able to get over ramez.....it's gonna be worse than the roberto debacle.....=(

*sobsobsob*

team love!

the drama this week was me trying very hard to swap out of my friday ward calls so i can go to peter's team end-of-run do at his house...

i absolutely LOVE my team!!!

they were all rooting for me to swap out of it!

peter even quietly suggested i "called in sick" - which i obviously cant, cos i cant dump on the other HO like that...

vincent was also apparently asking around yesterday - if anyone wanted to do it (as expected, no takers)...

so today, even libby - the cow who always has an alterior motive - was trying to help out...in fact, it was she who suggested i ask hank!

and lo-and-behold....HANK agreed!!!!

sooo.....after post-acute friday, i'll hold the pager till he gets to nsh...

THEN I JOIN MY TEAM AT PETER's HOUSE!!!!

*ramez fist-bumped me when i told him*

peter was also stoked....

im sooo honoured that my team really likes me and wants me there....:):)

scrubbed!

guess what i got to do today....

mr martin wanted me to scrub in on the 2nd skin case...

so i got to use the dermatome (YAY!) for an SSG...

then prepped it and helped with the SSG itself...

and then...

did a punch on the lip...and stitched it up...:):)

boss was definitely in a good mood today!!! AND praised us...:) he knew i did the carbunkle excision the other day...

BOOM!!! :):)

AND.....

he apparently praised me and called me "dedicated" following my arvo shift before my nites..

SCORE!!! :):)

so last thursday i brilliantly decided to do a 16-hr shift...

locum the 4-10pm ecc admits then on to my final nite shift from10pm-8am....:)

all this after only 4 hours sleep.....smart move ey? :)

i thought it was gonna be awesome having garth aka mcSteamy! as the senior reg on...

as luck would have it he swapped shifts...and i had ramez as the senior!

uber awesome!!!! :):)

AND.....as if that wasn't awesome enough....

i started by assisting in the lap appendix - got to hold the camera for him and close...:)

AND....i did my very own carbuncle excision!!!!

score!!!

BOOM!!! :):)

perfect.....but there's a catch obviously

i am severely in-like with the perfect guy...

and i do mean PERFECT!

• brilliant sense of humour! (cos we knw that's oh-so-very important to me)
• good-looking
• hot bod - as far as i can guess from the scrubs
• humble, unassuming, non-judgmental
• sensitive
• great music taste!
• SURGEON - well, almost there - i mean, he's in set4 now...with exams next year

off course there's a catch to this perfect dude...

HE'S IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP!

yup, story of my life....=(

must.lose.weight!!!!!

in effort to heal, im coming to the conclusion that it's good that he and i did NOT hook up...

i AM worth more...and i deserve better!

**ok....now jz gotta put this on replay and truly believe this...and get over the bruised ego**

hmmm.......i'd rather not go back to my ano days....

where can i find me some diet pills that work..?

there is something seriously wrong with this picture...
i am quite often surrounded by people....
good people, people im proud to call mi amigos...
yet....im empty...
i feel soo cold and alone...
the smiles are fake....i knw they are for they don't reach my eyes...

i constantly wanna crawl into a ball, get into the foetal position and cry...
i wanna grab tht scalpel i stare at everyday and cut the pain away...

it has to be super odd when the songs i identify most with right now are:
1) blink 182's adams song
2) pixies's i bleed

as if it'll make much difference if im here of not...
i jz wish my parents would understand tht its NOT their fault....