[all names are fictional and have no relation to real characters..=)]
once upon a time, there was a girl..her name was N. she wasnt very feminine, nor was she beautiful on the outside. bt wht she lacked in physical beauty, she made up for with inner-beauty. she was a loyal friend. she will always have your back, anytime, anywhere, anyhow. she was also very blunt, not very mushy or girly-girl. and she was proud of who she was. however, there were times where she did wish that she was like every other girl - pretty, feminine and knew how to get the boys. bt just as quick as tht, she would snap out of it and be contented with the way things were.
she had always been unlucky in love. this time around, she had a new-found infatuation for a boy named S. bt when it came to matters of the heart, N was a rookie. she didnt knw how to properly flirt, how to properly tug at the strings of the boys' heart. and she also saw things the way the boys see it. so she has always been the friend. the dude. and she was happy with that. N had sadly turned cynical. it was all after a boy called G. since her brief encounter with him, she has given up all hope at finding prince charming.
all her friends knew she had an interest in I. they teased her, played up the situation. she took it all. for she knew that it was all untrue. that whtever infatuation she had was not returned. she wanted to belief that it was juz a phase. that she would soon get over it. the thing is, deep down i think that N really wants it all to be true. wants things to be such that I would like her in return. she knew that it was too far-fetched, bt it was somethign she could juz dream about. it was a constant struggle. N wanted so bad to NOT have any non-platonic feelings for I, bt it was proving to be tough. while she would successfully suppress it on most times, whenever she sees him, they come bubbling rite to the top again.
it didnt help that I was a favourite amongst the girls. he was a sweet-talker. he was a nice, honest, kind boy. he didnt have a hidden agenda or anything sleazy about him. amongst those who liked to hang out with him, was A. now A is a pretty girl. she was definately wht the guys would want. pretty on the outside, able to flirt her way thru anything, and man, could she dance. she was a girly-girl. someone the boys could fuss over. adn that worked for her. she has a steady prince and they're happy together. unfortunately N had noticed tht A payed a lot of attention to I. and vice-versa! I definately looks at A a lot and why not? she's a pretty sight. N had noticed a lot of this. N felt hurt. she felt betrayed. bt she knew it wasnt her right. I didnt belong to her. she never laid claim to him, so wht right did she have to them flirting with each other?
N told this observation to her friend H. H hadnt noticed this before. so tonight, there was a nite out in town. the girls were going and I was called along. N wasnt going, because she FELT ugly and she knew she WAS ugly and didnt belong with the pretty girls. now I is such a lovely person that he also wanted N to come along and tried his darndest to persuade her. bt N had made up her mind. she didnt want to feel inadequate whilst out with them. she hated the feeling and refused to go, despite them tempting her with the presence of S at their nite out. it was also during the preperation for their nite out that H came out to N and told her that she had noticed the flirting going on and concurred with N's observations. H felt sorry for N. N was defeated once again. she knew this was coming. she was used to it. she had always played second fiddle especially when it came to matters of the heart.
N is now going to look at the silver lining under this cloud. this incident would help her put I out of her mind. she will try to move on and to think of I merely as a friend and nothing more. because tht's certainly how it is and she refuses to get her hopes up high, only to have them crushed once again.
so i guess we'll see how it turns out for her. we'll see how this plays out for N, I and even A.
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