whoever said cutting was stupid, that it doesn't solve anything obviously has no clue about what they're talking about.

there was so much clarity post-cut

there was no pain after

when you're all alone, 

when there's nobody you can turn to

when people you thought were on your side betrayed you

when your "friends" flip you off

there's one thing that will never disappoint

Count on no one but yourself...and even that may be precarious

i thought i could depend on you when i needed a friend
just like how i was there when you needed me

my mistake
just go back to your life, now that you've got it back

i always thought i was a pretty good friend. now when i need support the most, that's when i'm judged and deemed inappropriate and hung out to dry

TIL who my real friends are.

There's the BFF even though i know she disapproves of me, she's still sticking around

and funny enough - one of the truest is the one i've hurt and abused the most. he's still around despite the lies and pain and torture

when did i become so weak?

when did i become so dependent?

when did living become a chore and survival became a struggle?

why does it hurt so much?

why is there so much pain?

you'd think that you wouldn't wanna hurt yourself

sounds like common sense, right?

sadly, not in this case

it's a struggle trying NOT to hurt myself

every night that i go to sleep without cutting or killing myself is an accomplishment

every morning that i wake is another day i have to face while trying not to succumb 

weddings galore! v2.0

2011 was the last time i was fortunate enough to be a part of 3 weddings....
"maid-of-honour" in one....

and now...another lot are getting hitched! putting on the ball-and-chain and throwing away the keys...

1. chuen - wedding in adelaide, september; reception kl, december
2. alea - wedding/reception in kl, october
3. kath - wedding/reception in kl, december
4. puchi - wedding/reception in kl, february

im definitely going for chuen's in adelaide and puchi's next year

i should go for alea's - she's blood, always on my side even when the world isnt...(having said that, she doesn't actually know of the shenanigans i've been up to in the last 6/12...oh well)

i really wanna go for kaths!

i hope there are flight sales....

im already fucking broke...

hmm....

leave is a given, flights are pretty cheap....

question is, 

do i really wanna go back to kl this year?

nothing for me back home

heartbreak?

wait, what?

WTF?

i am so greedy!

wanting 2 when i can't even handle 1

but...i can't help it....

this sucks!!!

can't i just disappear?

can't i just go to sleep and never wake up?

what is the point of all this?

in the end, you never get what you want

such morbid thoughts

i am doing some good in the world - i'm helping people

just need to keep reminding myself about that

even though i don't believe a damned thing

hmmm....interesting....

nice while it lasts :)

i think there's only one person in this fucking country that i actually like

only one person i actually wanna hang out and spend time with

everybody else just annoys the fuck out of me

everybody else who are friends just don't feel like friends any more

maybe i need to go back to my roots

maybe i need to move