odd, very odd...seeing as how i never expected to be in these shoes
i've fully expected to be on my own forever..
now he's in the picture.
weird...but i've grown to like him more than just a friend...
i always thought he was interesting...i thought we got along well - albeit online...
so i guess this makes a somewhat natural progression...
call it paranoia, call it lack of self-believe...
heck, call it my insane ability to sabotage any hint of "happiness"
but i somehow think i like him more than he likes me...maybe...gaah!
i knw this is insane...but i cant help it...
fucking retard!
i almost think i should hold back...
maybe be a bit more distant?
maybe just so i can bounce back easier when he realizes what a 'tard i am...
fuck i need to see a shrink!
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