it's something i used to believe in

then things happened - people happened

now i need to remember that belief again

that i am alone, 

that i only have me

it sucks now - but i'll get used to not believing in the fairy tales again

i want this...pretty please....

why not just *poof* and disappear

nobody would notice anyway

one less burden

on another note,

i think i need to change the target location to my legs

getting too obvious on the arm with the 3 scars already..

so be it...

when screams go unheard

tmrw is another day i pretend to be happy

tmrw is another day i pretend that life's alright

tmrw is another day i pretend i don't want to just disappear

tmrw is another day i pretend that the eyebags are from lack of sleep

uncontrollable tears - WTF?

time to find that distraction

drive really fast? jump off a plane? cut your arm and watch it bleed?

anything to feel something else

hmm...i think at 3, it might just be noticeable

time to use that concealer i've yet to use! 

not even music can stop the tears

loneliness....

being alone...

the most painful feeling you could ever have

the downside of pushing people away is that you're left with nobody in the end

having that said that, it wasn't like there was anybody there in the first place

those who get pushed away wanna be pushed away anyway

you just can't and won't deal with me - which is fine by me

so don't pretend that I'm upsetting you when I push you away

this just reaffirms my believe that people leave. that friends are not real

i hate you

i hate you

i hate you!

but i like you

fuck you!